Young women today feel betrayed by feminists for telling them that they can “have it all.” They see their mothers slaving away at jobs out of the home, housework in the home, for their husbands and their children, and all they can see is that their mothers are exhausted. And not particularly happy. What they don’t realize is that their mothers don’t have it all either. They might be doing it all, but their lives are missing several key ingredients that would make it possible for them to have marriage, motherhood and careers all at the same time.

What are they missing?

  • Quality and affordable childcare, including after-school care.
  • Equal sharing of household and child-raising duties.
  • Equal opportunity in the workplace.
  • Fair compensation for their work, both in and out of the home.
  • Parent-friendly policies in the workplace and in society.
  • Healthy personal finances (positive credit histories, adequate savings, wise investments, provisions for retirement, etc.)
  • Equal representation in every walk of life. (Politics, religion, business, science, academia, etc.)
  • Sexual equality. (Equal access to sex education, birth control, and sexual fulfillment.)
  • Respect.

Feminism exists because these needs are still going unmet.  Women can’t sit around and wait for society to see the light when it comes to the way it treats them. Nor can we afford to sit back and do nothing when we see other women being discriminated against.

Men have always been able to mix marriage, parenthood and careers without being criticized or worsening their chances to get ahead. The desire to have it all is nothing more than the desire to have what men have. There is room in our society for both sexes to have it all. One sex shouldn’t have to sacrifice for the sake of the other.

Note: For an example of the choices women have to make and a thoughtful comment about them, read this in the New York Times Motherlode” section.

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Ellen Keim

Editor and chief writer at Femagination.com and I, Muslimah. Ellen also contributes regularly to Examiner.com. She is a freelance writer, essayist and copy editor, living with two cats and a husband in Columbus, OH. To get in touch with Ellen send her an email or connect via Twitter or LinkedIn.

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